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Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Serious pointless vent

Ok, I've just about had enough with these Early On people. They just don't seem to give a crap about me or my family. They never return phone calls, are really hard to get ahold of in the first place, and don't seem all that interested in helping my aughter progress. It took them 3 months to get their acts together to get Sarah in PT in the fist place, waited until the END of the school year to finally decide to put her in OT, then change BOTH therapists on me, who apparently are NEVER in their offices in order to take calls. I accidently made both the PT & OT home visits for today at 1:30pm. I've been trying to get a hold of the PT (the only one I have a phone number for) for 2 days in order to change the appointment time. She hasn't called me back yet. The first time I tried to get in touch with her, it took a week before she returned my call. No one seems to think that urgency is of any matter here. Her pediatrician doesn't seem to think the fact that my child has lost almost a pound in month, and is steadily losing weight, is anything to be concerned about. We already KNOW she's hypothyroid, but the endocrimologist doesn't think that it requires medication. ARE THESE PEOPLE STUPID????? I'm so SICK of everything right now I could spit. My house is falling apart, I've got ants & spiders & pincherbugs everywhere, Sarah's puking on every square inch of carpet in this place, Emma seems to think she's incapable of getting herself dried off & dressed after a bath, and my husband, bless him, is trying his best to get good grades at school, while still dealing with a jerk boss & working 40+ hours a week. Between getting the kids fed, dressed, the house semi-cleaned and dealing with throw up on the floor every 10 minutes, it's past noon before I can do anything for myself, including shower. And I seem to be put back at square one every Monday. I think I've got things under control by the time Friday comes around, then everything falls apart over the weekend, and I'm back where I started. I'm exhausted and I need a break, from everything. I had been planning over the winter to go somewhere for a weekend, no kids, no husband. Didn't happen. And not likely to, either, for the next 2 years, until Jeff's finished with school. Am I being too selfish, to want some time to myself without getting puked on, or pulled out of a chair to perform a simple task for my daughter, such as taking a stack of books upstairs? Or is this all just part of the job, that unpaid job I have of being a SAHM. Am I just supposed to sit back & accept the fact that this will be my life, forever? I've sacrificed a lot, in order for Jeff to go into the Navy, to come here to go to school, and to stay at home with my kids. I've given up college, a career, even friends, because that's what's been best for my family. But, every once in awhile, I just get tired. I get cranky and selfish, and this is one of those times. I love my husband & my kids to death, and wouldn't give them up for anything. I'll feel better tomorrow, I know I will. But for right now, I'm just not very happy.

1 comment:

Mom said...

Shit, what a stressed out email!! After reading it, I just had to go have a cocktail in the spa, by myself! And be thankful that I'm done raising all my little darlings! Don't give up Amanda. Someday they'll all be on their own, including Jeff (he will learn how to find his own socks someday, I swear!!)